Thursday, June 29, 2006

Lightbulb in Anus

Fateh Mohammad, a prisoner in Pakistan, had to endure a one and a half hour surgery to remove a lightbulb from his anus. He claims to have had no idea the bulb was the source of his discomfort.

What I'm curious about is the X-ray picture. The big end of the bulb is pointing up. Therefore, it was most likely inserted that way since there is little working room for a bulb to turn around in the intestine to turn around. So... how could he not feel that when it was being inserted?

Image Source:
Yahoo! Pictures

Friday, June 23, 2006

Clerk Urinates in Soda Pop and Gets Time

Well, the title doesn't require much explanation. Full article here.

Quick Summary:
  • In Florida, former convenience store clerk Anthony Mesa, 22, was working at a Pix store.
  • He urinated in a Mountain Dew and put in back in the refrigerator.
  • A foreman at a Dayton beach construction company chugged the drink and vomited several times.
  • He settled with the store for an undisclosed amount of money.
  • The store clerk was sentenced to 6 months in jail and 2 years of house arrest.

My $0.02: Why didn't the foreman check to see that the drink was sealed before chugging it? Also, why didn't he taste the urine when he first tried it? Even when I'm chugging liquids, I can always taste when something is wrong.

Friday, June 16, 2006

SoBe No Fear Gold Review

Drink: SoBe No Fear Gold
Official Site:
SoBe No Fear

SoBe No Fear Gold is a good energy drink. The taste is somewhat sweet and fruity. It lacks the horrible aftertaste many energy drinks are know for. The drink even delivers on the promise for “24 Karat Energy”. Plus, it comes in an interesting gold can.

Summary: Surprisingly pleasant drink.
Final Score: 4 out of 5

Image Source: Me with my camera.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Megaman X4 Review

Editor’s Note: Plot spoilers throughout.

A “It doesn’t get Geekier than This” Review
Megaman X4 (PS1/ E*everyone*/ 1plyr)

Author: Kai O’ Tea

Just a quick little story on how I got this game. I bought this game at a Game Stop used for 5 bucks. However, the previous owner destroyed it so much that my PS1 didn’t even recognize it as a disk. So, I had to haul myself to an EB Games (Yeah, Game Stop wouldn’t do it :P) and get the thing rebuffed. Lucky for me, I was able to use my charms and get the disk rebuffed for free!! (Saved 7 bucks! ;) )

Anyway, you’re not here to hear about my soporific life; you guys , as well as I am, are here to talk Videogames... Bear with me now, this is my first review!!
If you’re interested in Background read on, if not go straight down to where the stars end.


Just a little game background for those who live under a rock and have no idea about X series. *clears throat*

After the discovery of a mysterious capsule that contained an equally mysterious reploid, Megaman X (or just X), Dr. Cain created robots that could think, choose and feel, just like a human. They were designed to coexist with humans in a world of peace and harmony (yeah like that’s gonna’ last...) And it didn’t. Reploids began rebelling against their human companions. Seems these “mavericks” (as they were dubbed) thought that they were superior to their human creators and were lead by a powerful reploid named Sigma. Thus begins the Maverick Wars. (Bear with me...I’m almost finished!!) So, because X is infuriated by the battles going on, (for he, himself, is a pacifist) he goes off and joins the war!...yeah it doesn’t make sense to me either. Anyhoo, the reploids still loyal to humans that fight to hunt down the Mavericks are called “Maverick Hunters” (must of stayed up late thinking of that name, huh?) This is the side X fights on along with an experienced class S (I’m guessing that stands for ‘Special’, but I’m sure it means ‘Sexy’ ;) ) Hunter, Zero; who, like X, has a strange and mysterious past.

As you may or may not have noticed, this is X4 which means there are 3 other games that proceeded it. X has successfully destroyed Sigma 3 times and...he’s back...again...kinda like that meatloaf in the back of my fridge...I swear I threw it out..but..Oh! Off subject! Sorry, bad Kai, bad, bad Kai! So, naturally X and Zero are called for duty…and that’s where the story ends and the game starts...

New Features!!!

Like I said, 3 games before there’s gotta’ be something new, otherwise we wouldn’t buy it. Unless you’re buying it for the intricate plot (ha! The X games with an intricate plot...that’ll be the day...)

1) Play as X or Zero- One of my favo’ features! Since X is such a whiny freakin’ pacifist, who wouldn’t want to play as “shuttup and fight” Zero?

2) Two “different” plot lines- well, that’s what it says on the cover...but I gotta problem with it...actually two: A) there’s no plot to begin with and B) they’re not that’s putting whatever character you chose in the same situation…though the ‘cutscenes’ are slightly different depending on who you picked.

3) PS1 system- graduated from Nintendo SNES to Sony Playstation?! I don’t know why they switched companies, but the graphics are a bit better

4) Cutscenes! -Whoot! It’s like watching a little anime show at certain points! Some are really cool...and some are really, really lame...I’ll try and talk about these more later!

~RATINGS ( scale of 1 to 5) ~
Plot (3/5) - Like all the X games before it, and all the others after it, X4 has a very basic repetitive “plot.” (Earth in trouble, Hunters Sent, Mavericks defeated, Sigma is behind the whole thing ((*Gasp* Shocker!)), Sigma is destroyed ((at least until X5...)) And X wonders why everybody fights and why there can’t be peace...).So X still has unresolved issues which he is never going to solve by the way...Maybe that’s why X is colored blue, because he feels blue..*laughs at own pathetic joke*. Sorry. But the X series, as I have played, are some of the only games that still have plot holes in plot-less storyline. I could go into them, but there’s so many that I would be late for my own funeral if I typed ‘em out. Whatever. 3/5 Not Bad.

Graphics (3.5/5)- Basic Side scrolling game-play. The movements are somewhat crisp. And the colors and backgrounds are beautiful. But what bugs me is a tidbit about Zero. When Zero is falling, his hair streams down behind him, which of course by the laws of physics, means his feet land first. (If they don’t, then your game is WAY more messed up then mine) The thing is, Zero cannot do ANYTHING (slash, dash or move) until his hair has caught up with him...So you have to wait maybe two seconds after he lands. Which isn’t long, unless your trying to run from a huge enemy. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE every strand of Zero’s beautiful blonde hair, I just wish it fell faster. 3.5/5 Pretty Good.

Music/Sound (3.5/5)- X games are actually renowned because of their beautiful music. The music here isn’t bad, (for example the boss theme, the introduction to a stage theme, and Zero’s Victory guitar solo are really good), but the overall game music isn’t quite toe tapping. I think the 1st X had AMAZING Music. More important is the sound. There are ‘cutscenes’ as mentioned before which means: Voice Casting! Really, the only one who’s voice matches the part is Sigma’s. Zero’s isn’t too’s very cool sounding, but I think it should be slightly deeper. X is being played by a girl...that should say something to you, X. . And Iris and her brother the Colonel have these annoying British accents...I don’t really wanna’ know what Capcom was sniffing when they did that.
Also, whenever X or Zero jump, dash, are injured or basically move in some form, they emit a sound. For example, jumping usually results in sounds that resemble: “Hup!” “Um!” “Uh!” “ Yeah!” Those four together just sound wrong, now that I think about it... Anyway it’s cute the first time, after awhile it gets annoying. Some players are ready to shoot themselves after about 15 stages of “Yeah! Yeah!” It personally doesn’t affect my game play at all. The two also have a cute lil’ catch phrase whenever their energy drops below the halfway mark. Zero says “It’s not over yet!” (which is hysterical if he dies right when he says it) and X says “Time to get serious!” (...X, I won’t even comment on that , especially while you’re Hup! Um! Yeah!-ing). Yeah, I’m going to stop there with sounds...
Some of the Cutscenes are awesome (I know I keep saying I’ll get to them and I will) 3.5/5 Pretty Good.

Replay (4.5/5) For some reasons, I really like playing this game over and over. I’ll get these urges to just beat the game again! I guess I must really like those cutscenes. (I’m getting to them!!) Something about this game holds a special place in my heart despite the ‘Swiss cheese’ plot, the crappy voice acting, and X’s whining about World Peace. I really do enjoy this game, despite all my criticism. I really that this review doesn’t discourage people from the Megaman X series, for they are TRULY one of my favorites. 4.5/5 Awesome!

~ Total Score/20- 14.5/20 = 73% C ~
I would personally grade it higher, but for the sake of criticism and being non-partial (Well I tried) I gave it this score. It had really good potential. I just wish Capcom would stay consistent with their own plot! Anyway, I’m glad Iris died, she was annoying and always hanging around Zero. But, X is still alive...I guess he really has to be otherwise the game would be called Zero 4. (By the way there is one called that...)

Personal Comments and Random thoughts by the author! (Yes, this includes some CUTSCENES I wanted to comment and summarize on)

CS Zero- Opening/The Old Man
Zero is resting peacefully in his capsule, when something (or someone) startles him by calling his name. Zero opens his eyes to see a strange old man in the shadows and addresses the reploid as “My Masterpiece”. Zero asks the man who he is, but gets no response other than an order by the man to “destroy ‘him’” As the Man slips back into the shadows, Zero calls out for him, but is stricken with a pain in his head. The reploid clutches his head as he falls to the ground in pain. When he comes to, there are many destroyed reploids around him...and there is blood on his hands...Just then an alarm blares for all Maverick Hunters to report to the control center...It was a dream...Zero softly says to himself that he had the same dream before, but thinking of his duty, he rushes off to the control center. (I didn’t know reploids had blood in them. How come there’s never any when we destroy Mavericks? I don’t know...Still this cutscene gives me chills when I see it...)

CS Zero- Iris Dies (by the way Iris is the brother of the Colonel. She fell into despair after Zero destroyed her brother, who was one of leaders of a group of Mavericks. I’m guessing she was so upset that she too, went Maverick. This takes place after Zero battles her)

Iris is laying on debris, critically injured. Zero rushes over and bends down by her side. Iris admits that she wanted a world where only reploids could exist, but Zero solemnly replies that reploids cannot live without their human creators. Iris replies that she knew it was true, but she still dreamed of living in a World of only reploids...with Zero. She grips onto Zero’s hand, as she smiles softly, lowers her head, and dies. (Zero does Robo-CPR! No, sorry, I’m joking) Zero calls out her name a couple of times, trying to awake her. He finally realizes she’s gone, and picks her up and begins to question his purpose of fighting...people are only going to die. (Oh geez. Just what we need, another X. Anyway, Zero didn’t spend too much time grieving since the stage immediately continues after this scene.)

*I just want to make a little comment about this scene and how it ties into religion. If you’re rolling your eyes now, just go to the next paragraph. Trust me, I don’t care. Anyway, you know how Zero makes a comment that a world with ONLY reploids could never exist without their human creators? Is this a tiny microcosm saying that Man cannot exist in a world without the guidance of his Creator? Maybe, maybe not. Just something to consider...*

CS X- Final/ The Journey Home. (This is about the only good cutscene in X’s story, and it’s not even that interesting...I figure I had to throw in one X scene.)

After the destruction of Sigma and the Space Station, X escapes in an emergency pod and is now flying back to Earth. While traveling, he begins to wonder what causes reploids to go Maverick , and if fighting really does anything. (here we go again...) Zero comes up on the intercom from the Hunter Base to check on X (this is the only time we see Zero in X’s storyline, however we don’t see X at all in Zero’s.) So, X begins telling Zero about what he’s been thinking. (I’m sure Zero’s thrilled to hear about X’s pacifistic views AGAIN!) He asks Zero to “take care of him” if he ever goes Maverick (we all know that means “kill him,” right?), but Zero abruptly replies that X shouldn’t think such silly thoughts...And it ends...yeah kinda sucks right?

CS Zero- Forbidden Memories -takes place after Zero meets up with Sigma, and Sigma reminds Zero that he (Sigma) was once an Ace Maverick Hunter...
A sort-of young looking Sigma walks over to two unnamed Maverick Hunters. He asks the two where the “Red Maverick that wiped out Garma’s unit” was. The two reply that the Maverick went inside a near-by cave. Sigma says he’ll go alone; that he didn’t want “anymore of his people being sacrificed.” (Yes, Sigma said that!) So Sigma is walking along gazing at pieces that were once reploids, when he comes across the Red Maverick he had been looking for. Of course, immediately, the rogue reploid attacks, but Sigma easily dodges. This continues for a while until Sigma tosses the maverick high into the ceiling. Sigma smiles thinking that surely the robot would be down for the count; he was wrong. The red Maverick emerges again, this time with a sinister smile. Sigma decides he’s through playing around and takes the battle to the next level by drawing out his Saber. The unarmed Maverick pulls a metal pipe from the ceiling as a weapon. So the two engage in a little swordplay until finally...There is a deafening clash. Sigma cries out in pain... his right arm, along with his saber, laid de-attached from his body a few feet away...The Maverick, thrilled that his victim is helpless and unarmed , laughs with glee now that he can have some fun torturing him. So, the reploid continues to beat up Sigma, and finally grips his hands around Sigma’s neck. Sigma grunts with pain as the Maverick appears to be trying to rip off the Hunter’s head. With each scream that Sigma cries, the Maverick laughs louder until...There was a flash of light! All of a Sudden, the Maverick relinquishes his grasp from Sigma and begins screaming and clutching his head as if he was in pain. In the midst of confusion, Sigma takes the opportunity to punch the Maverick straight in his helmet crystal with his only remaining arm. The crystal shatters, and the red Maverick falls to the ground, beaten...
Outside, the two other reploids watch as Sigma emerges from the Cave. They greet him cheerfully, but soon notice he’s in bad shape. Sigma grunts at them to retrieve the defeated Maverick so he can study it. The two reploids, more concerned with their wounded commander, ask again if he’s okay. Sigma yells at them to be quiet, and roughly pushes them aside and heads back to headquarters...

Returning to the game, Sigma finally realizes that the “Red Maverick” he had encountered was in fact...ZERO!

So, that’s about it for my Review. Hope you enjoyed it! I think I might attempt to do some other games as well...Oh yeah, sorry about all the ellipses (...) In the paper. I think they add dramatic effect.

Questions? Comments? Insults?
Keep em to yourself ;)

Editor’s Note: Thanks to Kai O’ Tea for doing this review. Ignore the final comment, though. That’s just the reviewer’s attitude shining through. Feel free to comment.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Asian Experience Energy Drink Review

Drink: Steven Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Asian Experience
Official Site:
Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt

I stared at the can of the drink for several minutes, fearing what lay inside. Everything about the look, from the boasts about “all natural” ingredients to Steven Seagal’s beady eyes staring at me, made my energy drink senses tingle. I should have listened to them and not drank the drink. First of all, the sweetness about it was completely unnatural, and I don’t mean unnaturally good. Next, I have a problem with what exactly the flavor was supposed to be. How does “Asian Experience” taste? If it was supposed to taste like some sort of disgusting fruit, then success was achieved. The only redeeming factor was the lack of an aftertaste.

Summary: I clutched my stomach in sickness.
Score: 2 out of 5

Saturday, June 03, 2006

'Alien Head' Shown in Duck X-Ray

At the The International Bird Rescue Research Center in Cordelia, California, an X-ray of a duck with a broken wing revealed an 'alien head' in the bird. The center will be auctioning off the X-ray on eBay to raise funds starting on Sunday. In the bottom right corner of the X-ray, you can view the 'alien head'.

Better get your wallet ready...

Photo Source: